By Frank R. Campbell, PhD, LCSW, and Robyn Kaplan Seidman, MSW, LCSW
Each year, 180,000 people in the United States lose a loved one to suicide. Parents, children, siblings, friends, and spouses are left with complex feelings of grief. They may also be feeling ashamed, guilty, and alone.
Many communities have begun coordinating survivor groups. Jewish Family and Community Service (JFCS) groups for survivors of suicide provide a community of support to help manage the difficult grieving process. Participants can share their stories and details of their loved one’s death without pressure or fear of judgment and shame. Survivors feel less isolated and ashamed when they attend these meetings.
Groups offered by JFCS, for example, are usually co-led by a social worker and a lay leader who is a survivor of suicide. The lay leader helps participants share openly by example. Lay leaders also demonstrate that a survivor can go on and heal even though their lives are changed forever. As one survivor said, “The group is a safe place to share your feelings without the sense that you are being judged or pitied or that people are uncomfortable in your presence.”
Participants in varying stages of their grieving process attend the group. Those who have recently suffered a loss come to a group hoping for a little relief from the intense pain they are experiencing. Sometimes participants attend a group long after the death of a loved one. They come to revisit their feelings and understand the impact of the suicide on their current lives.
A 28-year-old man in one group, whose father died when he was 13, attended a JFCS survivor of suicide group. When his father died, the man’s mother had told him never to tell anyone outside the immediate family that his father had killed himself. The man respected his mother’s wishes but had recently begun to feel dishonest in close relationships. After the survivors’ session, the man decided to share details of his father’s death with his girlfriend. He was relieved that telling the truth did not change his relationship, as he had feared. He proudly shared the breakthrough with the group the following week.
Professionals who lead these groups say they are touched by stories like this one, and admire the strength of the people who attend their workshops.
The LOSS Team
Most referrals for survivors of suicide groups come from physicians or nurses who share the information when the death is pronounced in a hospital. Unfortunately for many, a hospital is never involved, so that survivors do not receive a referral from a doctor or nurse. Even when resources are available in communities, there is often a long time between when the suicide occurs and the survivor gets help.
A group in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, was formed to help survivors of suicide find the resources they need. The group was named the LOSS (Local Outreach to Suicide Survivors) Team. The team is made up of trained suicide survivors and Baton Rouge Crisis Intervention Center (BRCIC) staff. They go to the scenes of suicide to spread information about resources and to be the breath of hope for the grieving survivors. The goal of the LOSS Team is to let suicide survivors know that resources exist as soon as possible following the death.
Survivors have proven to be important resources at the scenes of suicide. Their volunteer involvement contributes greatly to the entire project. They work as peer facilitators in weekly survivors groups, participate in survivor assessments, serve as members of the agency speakers bureau, and mentor new team members.
