By Holly E. Dreger, LCSW
Cyberbullying is far more painful and dangerous than many parents might believe. Kids use cyberbullying to socially devalue their peers, and the bullying doesn’t just occur in one moment: it can be updated and viciously expanded upon 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
What Is Cyberbullying?
Cyberbullying is the use of electronic devices to bully a person, typically by sending messages of an intimidating or threatening nature.
Cyberbullying can happen through a variety of electronic devices, including cell phones, computers, and social media. Bullies can send mean or threatening messages, post embarrassing photos or videos, or spread rumors online.
The content of a posting or message could be anything from putting personal and private information about your child for all to see, or repeated postings to others (via Internet or cell) about your child. Another person could pose as your child and say vicious things to someone else, starting a fight that your child had nothing to do with.
Scariest of all, there are websites that on the surface appear to help those in distress but actually offer dangerous advice. Individuals who post comments at such sites can encourage your child to do horrible things.
I recently heard a report of a young man who had been bullied online. He sought out the help of a support community, sharing his feelings and stating that sometimes he wished he were dead. Many at the community actually encouraged him to kill himself and posted links to websites which explain various ways one could commit suicide!
Cyber bullies use similar tactics, and could relentlessly attack your child.
Who Is a Cyberbully or Cyberbully Target?
Online predators are not just adults seeking to harm children; the predators can be other children seeking to act out their anger on your child.
To protect your child, you must be alert to warning signs that suggest your child has become a target.
The Impact of Cyberbullying
Cyberbullying can have a serious impact on the victim, both emotionally and academically. Victims of cyberbullying may experience depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem. They may also have trouble sleeping and concentrating in school.
Some warning signs that your child could be a victim of online cruelty:
- Mood changes during or after Internet or phone use
- Abrupt changes in social network such as loss of friends, isolation from others, throwing out items given to them by significant friends
- Irritability, easily angered, crying, increased need for sleep or inability to sleep, nightmares
- Avoidance of school, academic decline and increased conflict at school with others
- Obsession with going online’ or texting, leaving little time for other activities
Essentially, knowing your child well is one of the most important protective factors in preventing cyberbullying. Be supportive and do not overreact.
What should parents do?
If your child is a victim of cyberbullying, contact your child’s school. If there are obvious threats, call the police. Print out any emails, social media posts, or texts which expose the bullying.
Connect your child with a therapist so that they can discuss their feelings with the support of a professional.
Monitor your child’s activities online. You can also purchase filtering software, which can help prevent your child from receiving selected information and prevent them from visiting certain websites. Filtering softwar is not always effective in preventing messages from reaching your child. Other software that can be purchased records instant messages sent to your child so that you can see what others are sending to your child.
Educate your child about cyberbullying and the harmful effects being cruel can have on others. Teach them the Golden Rule.
Keep the computer in a room that is easily supervised. Inform your child that you will monitor the websites they go to, as well as their phone use.
Consider a curfew for the cell phone to further protect your child from after-hours messages and unsupervised use. Set time limits for online use and encourage your child to interact in real time with peers through organized activities that promote the development of a child’s strengths and ability to interact positively with others.
Help your child understand that who they are inside—their character, integrity, values, mores, and uniqueness—is far more integral to success and health than what another person might judge them as being.
Finally, encourage your child’s school to enforce a policy to address cyberbullying, and share what you know about this subject with other parents.
