By Lynn Hagan, PsyD, CTRL, LCSW
Introduction
Lynn Hagan, PsyD, CTRS, LCSW has masters degrees in social work and recreation and taught camp counseling and management at the university level. She can be reached at lynn_hagan@yahoo.com.
Q. My daughter is preparing to go to camp this summer and I am having a lot of anxiety over it. On one hand I want her to go; on the other I am having lots of doubts. She is not apprehensive at all. Is this normal?
It is not unusual at all to feel a bit of “kid-sickness”. As you send your daughter off to camp, you are sending her out into the world – without your protection – and this is making you feel somewhat powerless. The reality is that going to camp is a growing experience for everyone – parents and children alike. Feeling apprehension is normal and most parents experience it! It takes a great deal of trust to hand your daughter over to the care of other adults – sometimes those you have never met. Finding this trust and letting your daughter go off on her one to experience new adventures takes courage. Just remember, that in doing so, you will also grow from the experience and have learned new parenting skills – just as your daughter will have learned new skills at the camp.
Q. How can I make sure that the camp I select is really going to take care of her?
The American Camp Association (www.aca.org) is a national association that accredits youth camps. This accreditation means that the camp is conscientious enough to meet up to 300 national standards from staff qualifications to emergency management. In selecting a summer camp, it would behoove parents to actually interview the camp director and physically visit the camp. The ACA Web site has a searchable database of nationally accredited camps, links to state regulations, and resources for parents from what to look for in camp visits to how to pack for camp. Good preparation on the parent will alleviate a good bit of the anxiety knowing that you have made an informed and intelligent decision on where to send your child for camp.
Q. How can I prepare myself for her leaving for the summer?
You said the right word – prepare. As with any adventure, adequate preparation is of utmost importance. This is something you and your daughter can do together. First, as mentioned before, consider this a learning experience – for both of you. This will give you and your daughter experience in “letting go” – enabling both of you to experience greater autonomy and sense of self. Secondly, discuss the selection of camp together. Give her some say in the selection, but remember that you are the parent and make the final selection. Thirdly, discuss your concerns openly. Chances are that your daughter is feeling some of the same things. Expressing them will help both of you reach a fuller understanding of each other – as well as validate each others’ feelings. Finally, have realistic expectations of what to expect from your daughter’s camp experience. Talk to other parents and utilize the camp’s orientation and communication methods (such as email) while she is gone. You are not the only parent to have these feelings – and you certainly are not going to be the last.
