Grief Through the Eyes of Children

By Mary Lee Carroll, MSW, LCSW

Jonathan was a six-year-old boy who died in 1988. Social worker Mary Lee Carroll, LCSW, served as his hospice volunteer. Her work with him and his spirit inspired Carroll to develop a pediatric bereavement program for a local hospice in Connecticut. In 1994, the organization received a grant from the Junior League of Waterbury, Connecticut, to sponsor Camp Jonathan. In 1999, Camp Jonathan was incorporated and now stands alone, and serves the needs of the breaved in the Watertown area of Connecticut.

Every summer, Camp Jonathan sponsors a week-long summer day camp for bereaved children who have suffered the death of a significant person in their lives. The comments below on the nature of grief were made by children who attended a one-week support program in July 2005.

Grief is . . .

Hard and rough.
Sadness.
Mad and madness.
Unique.
Empty.
Lonely.
No fun – yukky.
Confused.
Hurtful.
Difficult.
Bad.
Unable to focus.
Like your heart is in a million pieces.
Difficult.
Very sad and depressing.
No fun.
Time consuming.
Rough around the edges.
Nerve wracking.
Like wearing clothes that are too small.
Draining.
Like you’re in a different dimension.
Bitter.
Cruel, mean, nasty.
A bad thing.

Something that makes you stronger.
Something you’ll never forget.
A black hole.
Something everyone has.
Very sad and scary.
Losing something that you cared for.
Like trying to run when your shoes are too big.
Facing your fears.
A weight that starts off heavy and keeps getting lighter and lighter.
Like a forest fire.
First it wipes out everything. But then everything starts to grow back smooth and steadily, with a few speed bumps.
BUT: Some lives are just over.
You may never get to the light again, but it depends how well you see in the dark.
Wearing sneakers that are too tight all day long.
When it is very hot and you are uncomfortable.
Wearing shorts and it’s really cold outside.
Darkness, when you don’t have a night light and you’re afraid of the dark.
Dismal.
The pits.
Tired and frustrating.
Depressing.

In addition to helping children through the one-week summer experience, group support programs are offered at Camp Jonathan throughout the year for children with their parents and for children alone. The organization also sponsors an overnight retreat for bereaved women in November of each year.

Led by trained pediatric grief counselors, therapists, and assisted by trained volunteers, Camp Jonathan offers support for bereaved children and adults through group and individual counseling. The counselors use creative therapies to access feelings, such as movement, art, poetry, and psychodrama to help the bereaved successfully navigate the grieving process.

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