By Summer Stanley, MSW, LCSW
 

	Introduction
	Deciding What Can Be Comfortably Done
	Making Changes
	Questions to Ask Yourself
	Something Special for Yourself

Introduction

It’s holiday time! The whole world seems consumed with tinsel and glitter but those who have been coping with a cancer diagnosis, chemotherapy, or radiation may not feel like celebrating in the same ways that they used to. At various times during the cancer journey, survivors have definite limitations and may not be able to function at normal capacity. This is a good time for survivors to evaluate their priorities and decide what is meaningful for their families and themselves. Knowing how cancer can change a person feels physically and emotionally, cancer survivors have shared the following thoughts in the hope of making holidays easier to handle and enjoyable for others dealing with the disease.

Deciding What Can Be Comfortably Done

We must decide what we can handle comfortably and let those needs be known to family, friends, and relatives, for example:

• Whether we can handle the responsibility of the family dinner, holiday parties, etc., or if we wish someone else to take over some of these traditional tasks;
• Whether we will stay home for the holidays, or “escape” to a totally different (and relaxing) holiday environment this year;
• Whether we can handle all of the shopping, or if we can make lists and let others shop for us, or shop online or from catalogs;
• Where we can Invite friends into our home to share a holiday happening such as trimming the tree baking cookies, making decorations, or have a having a gift wrapping party;

Making Changes

Don’t be afraid to make changes. It really can make things less stressful and more enjoyable!

• Consider opening Hanukkah and Christmas gifts on a different day or at a different location;
• Have dinner at a different time or place or try new foods;
• Consider combining numerous friend and family get-togethers into one or two;
• Let friends or family members assist with decorating, making cookies, etc.;

Helping Others

Many people derive pleasure from doing something for others. You might consider doing the following:

• Making handmade gifts or baked goods for family members, and attach small tags with special sayings on them;
• Writing a letter to special friends or family members to let them know how much their support has meant to you;
• Donating money to a charity in honor of family members;
• Inviting a guest that doesn’t have a family (such as a foreign student, senior citizen, etc.) to share in your family events;
• Getting family members to go in together to buy small gifts, then wrap them individually and take them to local nursing homes for others to enjoy. Use this activity in the place of buying each other gifts that aren’t desired or needed.

Questions to Ask Yourself

Whether it’s greeting cards, holiday baking, putting up the tree, decorating outside, or having a big family dinner, ask these questions before making any decisions:

• Have I openly discussed my feelings and wishes with friends and family who may be affected?
• What are the pros and cons of changing this tradition?
• Can other family members share this task?
• What is most important about the holidays to me, and how can I maintain that spirit?

Something Special for Yourself

Remember to take time to do something special for YOURSELF!

• Spend as much time and effort on selecting yourself a gift as you would for someone else. Then, wrap it up and select a very special time and place to enjoy the gift.
• Buy two tickets to an event you want to attend. Keep one for yourself, and give one to a friend as a special holiday gift.
• Consider a “winter holiday”– take time out to enjoy what nature has to offer this season.