By Stacie Cahill, MSW
Here is a list of questions that adopted children often ask their parents as well as ways to celebrate adoption and family.
Top 10 Questions Adopted Children Ask Parents
- Do you love me as much as you would a biological child?
- Did my birth parents love me?
- How am I like my birth family?
- How did I grow in your heart?
- Will you always love me?
- Can I learn more about my birth country?
- Is adoption forever?
- Who else is adopted like me? (It’s good to introduce adopted children to other adoptees.)
- Will you show me pictures and tell me about my adoption experience?
- Do you think I will adopt children someday?
As you can see, adopted children have an added dynamic to work through to develop a healthy identity. Open communication and lots of love and encouragement are needed in order to facilitate healthy growth. Celebrate family in order to nourish and foster security and emotional development.
10 Ways to Celebrate Your Adopted Child
1. Encourage your child to design a “Love Cup”, which you will fill with words of praise and encouragement. Each child will enjoy decorating the cup with stickers, markers, etc. He will feel special and will look forward to checking his “Love Cup” for notes from you.
2. Remember to hug your child daily, as they feel comfortable.
3. Spend at least 2 hours per week of quality one-on-one time with your child. Show your child that s/he is important and they will enjoy the individual attention.
4. Write a short story or a song about your child’s birth or adoption experience. Read the story or sing the song to your child.
5. Give your child at least one affirmation or positive acknowledgement every day.
6. Laugh with your child. This strengthens the parent/child bond. Comedy movies and a good joke book may encourage laughter.
7. Watch home videos and look at pictures of your child’s birth or early years, if you have them. The child will benefit by sensing your excitement about her/him.
8. Make a special dinner together. Allow your child to choose the menu and to assist with meal preparation.
9. Journal with your child. Allow your child to purchase a journal of his choice, and encourage him to write anything about his life that he would like to share with you. After you read his special notes, you will write back concerning special happenings in your life. This is a great way to openly communicate with your child, and will help to foster feelings of security and trust. Save the journals and share them with your child when he is older. The journals will be especially meaningful to an adult child, and will be a gift that he will treasure forever!
10. Interview your child once a year with a home video recorder and ask him questions regarding any area of interest. Perhaps you will want to review his likes and dislikes. It will be meaningful to capture his very own thoughts concerning special events in his life.
