By Bette J. Freedson, LCSW, LICSW

Being a parent might be the most important job in the world; and being a single parent is even tougher!

As a single mother who successfully raised two daughters, and as a social worker helping single moms and dads every day, I can offer you some advice.

11 Tips for Single Parents

1. Create structure in your home. Strive for a routine that is reasonably predictable but flexible.
2. Make sure the kids understand that choices lead to consequences. This provides them with a sense of control knowing that you are ultimately in charge.
3. Don’t make house rules that you cannot enforce. If you state a consequence and do not follow up, you lose credibility.
4. Give the kids the message that what happens in your house isn’t necessarily the same as what happens in their other parent’s house. You have no control over what happens there, so focus on your own home.
5. Don’t compete with the other parent (or with stepparents). Providing your children with a loving, stable home is more important than expensive toys and flashy gifts.
6. Do not put down the other parent to your kids! This one is tough, but always remember that your children may feel very hurt to hear you bad-mouthing their other parent.
7.  Remember that you are your children’s parent, not their peer.
8. Develop your own support network. Have fun with friends and spend time with other adult family members, so the kids do not have to serve that purpose for you.
9. Establish routines with the kids that involve responsibilities around the home. You can connect with your kids without becoming “Disney Dad” or “Fun Mom.”
10. Show an active interest in what your kids think, their friendships, and what they like to do.
11. You do not have to be perfect. Just do the best that you can with what you have.

These are just some of the things you can do to establish an environment in which the children trust that you are predictable and trustworthy.

Take heart! Children love you and will offer you their respect and forgiveness when there is a foundation for them to feel safe and cared for. When you set clear boundaries, the children will be able to have fun with you and you will still be the parent.