By Tara Moser, MSW, LCSW
Our society is so fast-paced that play no longer seems to come naturally to adults or children. Your child comes home full of energy. Homework needs to be done, the laundry is waiting, and you feel as if your child is going to destroy the house like a tornado.
Many schools have eliminated recess. Many homes have reduced extracurricular sports as well as free play in the neighborhood. But play is important for children. So as a parent, you must incorporate play into your child’s daily life.
What is Play?
My definition as a counselor practicing play therapy is: play is a child’s work where toys are utilized as tools; it is supposed to be a pleasure-filled activity.
Good Toys
Toys must be age-appropriate, be able to fit in small hands, be durable, be manipulable, and appeal to the senses. Of course, we need to be sure that toddlers do not get their hands on any choking hazards.
Good toys are not the latest video game or mini-motorcycle. Expensive is not always the answer. In fact, sometimes the play can come from crafting a toy. Toys can be made with everyday items in the home, such as cardboard boxes, paper towel rolls, and baking products. For example, you can your own noisemakers by filling a jar with beads; this appeals to three senses of your child, uses her creativity, and can lead to a sense of pride in her creation.
Improvise
There is no one right way to play. And even though some toys come with directions and rules, this doesn’t mean that it’s the only way to use the toy or game. Children learn and grow through play, so be open to your child changing the rules to make the game more fun.
You can stop caring about realism while engaging in play with your child. You can use a play vacuum on the wall instead of the carpet; a doll can wear one sock and two different shoes. It’s about experimentation and improvisation. Let’s see what happens!
Let Your Child Take the Lead
Parents, let your child lead during playtime. If your child asks if she should paint the tree blue or green, ask her which color she would like to use. Children ask questions such as these because parental approval is important to them. But the child already knows what she wants to use, but wants your approval.
By allowing your inhibitions to go and scheduling play time with children, you will increase your closeness and encourage self expression. At times you may learn something through your child’s play that they haven’t told you.
Let your children play and be learn to be okay with the ensuing disorder and mess. Just leave some time at the end to clean up and put things back in their place; you can even put on some music so your cleaning up time becomes a dance party!
Children spend most of their day in structured learning activities, so give them time to play at home before starting their homework. And remember to take time to play as an adult. This will increase your own energy and help you feel more at ease with child’s play.
